Musings on Civilization

~ Blinkers people. Learn how to use a freakin’ blinker! How difficult is it to flip your left hand an inch up or down, indicating left or right. It’s a helluva lot easier than using telepathy, that I can guarantee you. Why is it, then, that so many people seem to have the gift of psychic awareness? If you’re that freakin’ special, then you should give us lesser folk a little bit of a break and display your intentions so that we don’t have to GUESS why you are breaking with no one in front of you.

~ As I am approaching a nice, even, half-decade of residence in PA, I find that the driving habits of PA people are driving me MORE insane than I ever thought possible. I have 2 questions:

1) WHY do people in PA feel the need to pull out in front of you, when you have the right of way, even though no one else is behind you? Do they see the secret “PLEASE pull out in front of me so that I have to slam on my breaks. It makes me HAPPY” sign? Cuz I thought I torched that already.

2) Do people from PA know how to read road signs? I feel like they become so one-track minded, that they forget what those signs that say “SLOWER TRAFFIC KEEP RIGHT” actually means.  PA drivers drive in the left lane, and when you try to pass them in the right lane, cuz they won’t move the shit out of the way, they gun it, and go from 60 to 85 mph, just to prevent you from getting in front of them, only to then, drop back to 60 after you give in and get back behind them.

God save the effing Queen…

~ I am continuously boggled over the stupidity and sheer ignorance of the human race. Amongst many other exasperating and quite frankly, annoying habits of the people I encounter, would have to be their blatent inability to STAND IN A LINE. Lines were created as a way to organize and confine massive amounts of people. When you arrive at said line, you go to the end of it. When the line moves, you move, but you remain behind the people who were in front of you when you joined said line. Apparently, there are people in this world to whom this medial task does not adhere to. I don’t know if they are that stupid, or if they really don’t care, but there are always a couple of them in every crowd. You know the kind, the ones who just walk up and take advantage of the personal space that you’ve left between yourself and the guy ahead of you with the headful of dandruff and the wafting odor of feet mixed with racid fish, as if you left that there for them. I personally like to call them BUTTERS. People who butt in line in front of you because that extra 2 person’s worth of space and air is preventing them from fulfilling their lifelong dream of annoying the shit out of someone. And BTW, being a tourist does not automatically give you a gree pass to disregard the mass consensus ruling on how to get from point A to point B. It does not entitle you to arrive last and yet enter first, NOR does it give you permission to be an asshat. So, the moral of the story here is – standing in a line or a queue or a path of people is a first come, first serve situation, so GET YOUR LATE-TO-SHOW-UP-ASS to the back of the line! AND EFFING STAY THERE!

~ My neighbors must absolutely hate me. You see, I get up at about 5:30 in the morning, although not usually happily, mind you. But that way I have more than enough time to piss around and not have to rush to get me and my dogs ready for the day. Every morning, the first thing I do is get my pups out to pee/poop/whatever and every morning my eldest decides that he sees a cat, or a shadow which looks strangely like a rapist, or a squirrel with a case of insomnia and he takes off down the steps, sounding as if his 20 pound body weighed about 20-times that, barking his ever-loving terrior head off. It irritates the shit out of me first thing in the morning, so I can really only imagine how sour my neighbors are about it. If any of my neighbors ever happen to chance upon this, as I’m sure you hear, I yell at him every time that he does it.

~ There are 2 types of people in this world that I hate:

Hypocrites. Those who talk out of both sides of their mouth. They tell you they’ll never speak of your secret to a soul, then 2 seconds after you turn your back, they are down the hall running their effervescent mouths with unyielding disdain.

People that bitch about their problems but never do anything to solve them. For example, I once knew a man who was diabetic. He would complain about his weight, and his blood sugar and how he was on medication and might have to go onto insulin because the p.o. meds were no longer adequately controlling his blood sugar levels. But he was never without a Dr. Pepper in his hand, or a bag of some ridiculously unhealthy bag of some salty, crunchy heartattack waiting to happen. Shut the Fuck Up!

I’m tired of listening to everyone bitch about their life while doing nothing about it.

~ There are just some things in life that I see which make me say “Holy Mother of God” aloud in painful disbelief. Today, at approximately 10:00 AM EST, as I was driving up Interstate 83, there was a person on the side of the road. And don’t get my wrong, that is rare enough as pedestrians are NOT to be hanging out on the side of a major highway. When they are usually, they are standing alongside a broken down car, or they’ve been involved in an accident – a logical explanation. But today was a different day – this girl, who had to have been a teenager, obviously has a death wish. She was sitting on the shoulder of the highway, with a couple of bags at her feet and was facing the opposing direction of traffic: Meaning that she could not see if someone began careening out of control! There was no car, no police, no tow truck – no nothing! And the more interesting thing to me was that there was a ton of grassy shoulder to sit upon in order to be out of harm’s way – but this girl decided that the white shoulder line was calling out to her ass to sit upon it…This dipshit was a Darwin Award waiting to happen.

And people wonder why I say civilization is getting dumber by the second…

~ There’s one in every crowd. Everyone knows someone who does childish things in an attempt to be funny. I like to call them “moment killers.” They are just making a vain attempt to be funny, but most often, they don’t succeed in making everyone laugh, instead, they succeed in making themselves look like an ass. Although they don’t realize that they look like an ass, so they continue doing asinine things. I know someone who, while out to dinner decided it would be funny to clap while making seal noises at the table…at a nice restaurant. The rest of us who weren’t channeling our inner obnoxious child, started looking around or staring into space, taking about as much responsibility for this persons actions as we would have if they had been a vagabond out on the street begging for change and we had decided to give them a hot meal. All the while, our entire table was being thrown stares from other civilized members of society who were patronizing the same restaurant which read: Get Out!

Why can’t adults act like adults?

~ Today’s example of how the stupidity of the human race is disturbingly more prevalent in day to day society, is this:

Children riding their bicycles down the middle of the street. A busy street. With a lot of cars. All day. Completely oblivious to the fact that the only difference between their safety and a free ambulance ride is the mere 3 inches between my gas and my break pedal. And the kicker is that there is an effing sidewalk that they could use.

Where the shit are their parents?!?!?


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