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Category Archives: NaBloPoMo

Citizen Cope!

For those who DON’T know, Citizen Cope is awesome. I have had the glorious honor of seeing him live in concert twice now. First time was back in March of ’07 in New York at the Hard Rock and the second time was just last week, on the 28th of December, at Ram’s Head in Baltimore. He writes his own lyrics, he write his own music, hell, he even plays the guitar! He is as fantastic live as he is on a cd, and any music lover will know that so often now-a-days, musicians just don’t deliver LIVE. I mean, how many “artists” can you think of that have been caught lip synching at concerts??? Britney Spears, Jessica Simpson, Ashley Simpson, Mili Vanili…the list goes on. I don’t care if you feel like you need to “save your voice,” YOU’RE A FUCKING SINGER! That is what all of those people have paid ungodly amounts of money to hear – YOU SING, you ignorant bastard. Fuck, I could have stayed at home, saved the cost of the ticket, the transporation, the drinks, the food, not to mention the sheer annoyance of being surrounded by drunk assholes who think that if they elbow you hard enough, you’ll move, to listen to a recorded voice. If I shelled out that much cash, I want to hear the actual voice, even if you can’t sing live to save your ass. Fortunately all those who attend Cope’s concerts know that he is uber-awesome live and totally has more talent in his little finger than I have in my entire body. Mmm, gotta love talent.

Thanks be to Jaime for sneaking in the camera – unfortunately, I was unable to really “edit” any of them, so this is what you get. With that said, please enjoy a listen to some of his music and take a gander at his total hotness. *smile*

Cope

The Keyboardest - You can't tell, but he's hot too

I'd give my left arm for that guitar

Sorry about the pole...I told you I couldn't edit these!

I LOVE this shot...

Mmmm

COPE!!

 

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And the unanimous decision is that I, in fact, DO have bats in my belfry

This morning I had an early christmas present hanging from my front door.

The pictures are not great, and I do apologize, but I was half asleep, ridiculously unsteady and rather apprehensive about the whole deal so the close up was taken by zooming in as far as possible in the attempt to maintain a lot of distance between me and it. But, after a few minutes and some preparatory pillow-case net making, I had the little guy in my P.C.N. and got him outside back into the cold faster than you could say “Oh my god! It’s going to get stuck in my hair!”

The brilliance to photograph the event sadly, does not belong to me. No, it was my mother, whom I was on the phone with at 5:30 this morning discussing battle tactics, that actually said:

“Well, you know, you should really take a picture of it! Before you try to catch it, run and get your camera!”

So this one goes out to my mommas. Don’t worry, I already emailed her copies. You think I let her read this?! HA!

EEK!!

Holy crap BATman!!

 

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What a way to end the month!

I’m totally copping out on this tonight as I have too much on my mind to even be able to write a coherent post. I have typed 2 or 3 paragraphs only to delete the entire thing not once, not twice, but THREE times already this evening. I refuse to attempt anything 4 times, so I am just going to get through this and take my thoughts to bed with me. I suppose my inability to post anything coherent stems from the fact that my mind is running a mile a minute. So much has happened in such a short period of time that I really don’t know what to do about any of it. I can easily weight any option with both pros and cons and I can definitely see the silver lining in each of the rain clouds.  I am literally tightrope walking my life right now…

With that said, I am taking my cracked out head to bed to think on life a little bit and to waste some time until tomorrow afternoon.

 

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What to do, oh, what to do?

It’s really quite amazing when you know someone so well that you can actually predict their actions or responses. It’s even more astounding when someone knows you so well that they do exactly what you had hoped they would do, without you even having to ask them to. I don’t mean like, your-man-dusted-the-house kinda hopes; I mean like, you’re-man-took-you-out-to-dinner-at-your-favorite-restaurant-on-your-anniversary-where-he-presented-you-with-a-set-of-2-carat-diamond-earrings-while-a-hired-string-quartet-played-your-song-in-the-background kinda hopes. Yeah, shit like that.

Unfortunately, although one of the highest hopes that I could have in my current life scenario has been reached, it has left me feeling very, very confused. My first impulse is of course to respond, to let him know all the things that I still want to say. Maybe I can still get through to him? I’d tell him how I want to see him stop feeling like he owes anyone anything, and start making himself happy, as he deserves to be. I’d let him know how much he has meant to me, and how the few years we’ve known each other feels like it’s been a lifetime, or two. I would tell him that I always felt that he was my “kindred spirit,” as well, just like Anne of Green Gables. I’d let him know that it was never, ever about the trivial shit, it was always about much more… Yet, I am petrified to rip off that fresh scab which is just beginning to form. But what if nothing ever changes? What if I ended up, once again, in my current roll? I’d never be happy with that, and that is not fair to me. What if I end up opening myself back up, only to be crushed once again? I really don’t want to feel like I’ve lost my best friend again, my hardened heart can only stay numb to so much. I’m so torn over what to do that I have decided to post this, in lieu of responding. Somehow telling any wandering eye that may scroll across my page about how distraught I am over all of this is easier than talking to you. Strangers reading my fucked up thoughts is more inviting than crying on your shoulder. Admitting defeat to the entire world is less destructive than waiting for you any longer.

And, if you happen to read this: damnit, I miss you too.

 

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Finishing up NaBloPoMo

I must say that when I first was introduced to NaBloPoMo, I was hesitant to join. The purpose of the whole deal is to post at least once a day, every day, during the month of November. My blogging career is still virginal, at best, and I was concerned that it would be a huge hurdle that I wouldn’t be able to leap over. Thankfully, my head only let me down a couple of times and even during those episodes, I was still able to fire enough synapses to think of SOMETHING to post about. As we finish out the last couple days of National Blog Posting Month, I am proud to say that I did not cheat, even once, on a post date. Well, ok, ONCE, but it was the day after daylight saving time did it’s thing and I was typing during the literal 23rd hour and when I published it, it showed the NEXT day, due to the fact that I had not yet adjusted my blog’s time and midnight had rolled over. But, hell, I don’t even consider that “cheating” persay, as I really was posting on the appropriate day…but the time got all fucked up.  That’s not my fault, though! Right??

I think that this has definitely been  a positive experience for me in the aiding of my writing abilities – it is kinda like riding that bike, once you learn, you never really forget. But you do need a tune up after it sits for a while – and secondly, as a blogger. I am, by nature, a ridiculously open extrovert. By no means am I someone to run around my house naked every chance I get, but I do wear my heart on my sleeve and if I have something to say, I typically don’t know how to keep my thoughts to myself. Although, my closest friends say that is the reason that they love me as much as they do, but I think they just know that I am much easier to get along with when I can vent. *smile* This serves as my precious ability to vent, and I’m beginning to realize that I don’t think I would be as composed as I currently am if I were not able to ramble on and on about nothing whenever I wanted to. This is probably the difference between the somber acceptance of one of the worst things to ever happen to me and an outlandish admission into a Psych Ward for an extended stay.

Today as I pondered over a post topic, I fumbled across a song that I did not know existed. I am very sad that I didn’t know that this song existed as it is fucking fantastic. I know I post a lot of Ani DiFranco lyrics, but you have to admit, the woman really does have a way with words. She can manipulate the language in such a way that I can identify with every song. Somehow, it’s like she really is me but I just didn’t know it. Somehow, she is telling my life to millions of people through song. Somehow, I can always find what I’m looking for when I browse her music and this song definitely hit home with my mindset today. I’m stuck between honoring my word and giving in to my compulsions. Believe me, it is a STRUGGLE.

Ani DiFranco, yes again but it is SO worth it, with How have you been?

You could always hear the rub squeaking
of those two tree limbs
’til one day one of them came down,
taken down by the wind.
But on the one that’s still there
you can still see where the bark was
rubbed bare.
It’s a metaphor if you know what I mean
How have you been?

Me and you
and your girlfriend makes three
In the interest of even numbers
I will make myself scarce
I will make myself scarcely me
But I’ll be outside your window at night
pull up your shades
leave on your light
I don’t want to come in between
I just want to know
how have you been?

I leave for a living
music’s just something I do
On my way out the door
and I’d do almost anything once
something about you
I think I’d do you more
if I had my way I’d stay here
and watch your hair grow for a while
It makes me smile just to dream of it
How have you been?

 

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I’m dreaming of…

a buncha weird shit! I had an incredibly intense, emotional, TECHNICOLOR dream the other night. May I explain the absolute INSANITY of this situation by saying that I rarely EVER remember a dream. I can literally think of maybe 5 in my life that I did/can remember – and most of them have been in the last couple of weeks. A dream from about 2 weeks ago is much less weird, well aside from the fact that I remember it – Long story short is that I dreamt of myself and a particular guy out in Deep Creek, MD. He fished, we hiked…that kinda stuff. But the one I had the night before Thanksgiving, Wednesday the 21st, was the MOST disturbing, vivid, memory-like dream that I have EVER had, and honestly, hope to ever have in my life. It’s really way too detailed and specific to try to type it all out, but I’ve found a dream analysis site called Dream Moods which I’ve used to interpret certain aspects of my dream, piece by piece, not as the “whole.” Beings that this is the first time that I facilitated the useage of such a site, I have nothing to base the acuracy of my results off of…other than my interpretation of how my dream really appeared to me, and how it made me feel, and I do not possess the writing ability to describe anything in that regard. Seriously, we all know how ridiculously difficult it is to verbalize emotions, I mean,who hasn’t tried to tell someone that they like, “LIKE like” them??

Below you will find symbols, colors, relationships and feelings that were abundant in my dream, and available on Dream Moods for interpretation. It is a list, nothing more, as I don’t need to pry the ol’ Crazy Chamber open too far yet or you’ll disappear quicker than a virgin’s panties on prom night! ::Sidebar – this analogy is brought to you on behalf of the beautifully right-brained Walter Bean!! DUDE! I LOVE YOU!!! – End Sidebar:: All I can figure is that I am an oppressed, but brave, control freak who is getting ready to have a positive turn of events in the form of a major life transition. *sarcasm* Great! Just what a bravely oppressed control freak needs!! A major life transition with no particular time frame!! Yay!!

 Marriage
To see a marriage in your dream, signifies commitment, harmony or transitional period. You are undergoing an important developmental phase in your life. The dream may also represent the unification of formerly separate or opposite aspects of yourself. In particular, it is the union of masculine or feminine aspects of yourself.Consider the qualities and characteristics of the person that you are marrying. These are the qualities that you need to look at incorporating within yourself.

Wedding
To see a wedding in your dream, symbolizes a new beginning or transition in your current life. Dreams involving weddings are generally negative and highlight some anxiety or fear. It often refers to feelings of bitterness, sorrow, or death. Alternatively, wedding dreams reflect your issues about commitment and independence

Acquaintance
To see an acquaintance in your dream, signifies positive affairs in business and harmony in your home life. It also foretells that you will see or hear from them shortly after this dream.
To dream that you are in a dispute with an acquaintance, denotes that you will soon find yourself in a humiliating situation.

Coworker
To see your coworkers in your dream, highlights aspects of your waking relationship with them, including difficulties/support. It signifies your ambition, struggles and competitive nature. If the coworkers in your dream are not your actual coworkers, then they may pertain to some psychological business that you need to work on.

Friend
To see your friends in your dream, signifies aspects of your personality that you have rejected, but are ready to integrate these rejected part of yourself. Additionally, this symbol foretells of happy tidings from them and the arrival of good news.

Stranger
To see a stranger in your dream, symbolizes the part of yourself that is repressed and hidden.

Woman
To see a woman in your dream, represents nurturance, passivity, caring nature, and love. It refers to your own female aspects or may also represent your mother. Alternatively, it may indicate temptation and guilt. If you know the woman, then it may symbolize the concerns and feelings you have about her.
To see a group of women talking in your dream, refers to some gossip.
To see a pregnant women in your dream, symbolizes abundant wealth

Sad
To dream that you are sad, signifies a positive turn of events. It is generally a good dream foretelling good things are about to happen in your near future.

Panic
To dream that you are in a panic, indicates a lack of control and power in your life. You may be feeling helpless in some situation or unable to make a clear decision.

Frustration
To dream that you feel frustrated, represents your difficulty in coping with a situation in your daily life. It may reflect your concerns that your life is not going in the direction you want.

Burgundy
To see the color burgundy in your dream, symbolizes wealth, success, and prosperity. It is indicative of your potential power.

Maroon
The color maroon is symbolic of courage, bravery, heroism, and strength

That’s interesting, isn’t it? I mean, who would think that feeling SAD in a dream would actually be a sign of positive things to come? I am definitely thankful that this dream was so detailed because I was able to “interpret” quite a variety of feelings and colors and even people involved. I definitely think that I can psycho analyze myself enough to see a lot of correlations in the dream analysis, and at the very least, it was a wicked cool experience and I would highly recommend checking out Dream Mood and seeing what your dreams may be telling you…

 

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Just another Manic Monday

Tonight, as I was standing out on my porch, smoking a deliciously menthol cigarette and giving my pups some tinkle time, I started thinking about how absolutely INSANE today actually was. I was thinking about how this Monday in particular seemed SO much worse than Monday’s of recent past. Monday’s suck regardless as they are the weekly equivalent of a full moon. Just when you think the weirdness can’t get any weirder – it CAN on a Monday! Just when you think that you couldn’t possibly want to kill yourself any more than you do after spending 8 hours in a cubicle – you CAN on a Monday! I once saw a bumper sticker which read “Monday’s are a horrible way to spend 1/7th of your life!” How disgusting of a thought! I almost want to wash my own mouth with soap! How could such a HUGE percentage of my precious life ever possibly be spent during the fire and brimstone that is a Monday!? It seriously just makes me want to cry.

Apart from my obvious disdain for the work week Starter, I believe that this Monday was so much worse due to the fact that we came off of a 4 day weekend. I mean, when I get a 3 day weekend, I’m already in heaven. Anything longer than the alotted 48 hours is like a dream come true for me, so on the rare occassions that I get a 4th day, I’m jumping up and down screaming “I DON’T EVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN!” in delirious glory. Well, heh, you can imagine the sonic boom that ensued when that bubble burst. I probably leveled half of South Eastern Pennsylvania. You have to understand that I did spend a rather lazy weekend; I lounged around, raked some leaves, ate Thanksgiving dinner – TWICE! (Yay me!), and generally did NOTHING. I love doing Nothing though. So much so, I’d happily spend the rest of my life doing ONLY Nothing and no one else. And, yes, I am completely aware that my sloth-like nature over the last 4 days must have had some adverse effect on my interpretation of today, but it STILL sucked.

And speaking of interpretations for today – I posted yesterday about my bordering on not so healthy obsession of checking my horoscope daily, and on multiple sites. WELL, today’s seemed to leave even a sour taste in my mouth. Damnit I hate being such a by-the-book Cancerian!! This came from, god help me, My Lifetime.com. DON’T you judge me! This site is the most dead on that I’ve found so far when it comes to me and the moon and the tides – and today was no exception.

“You know you won’t back out, because when you give your word it’s as good as gold. Other people, however, don’t always operate that way. Let them believe you may walk away; it builds suspense and teaches them not to take you for granted.”

Damnit I hate being right.

 

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