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Continuing the trend

18 Jul

My father is the most negative human being that I know. He actually used to be angrier, or at least used to show his anger more, but as he’s gotten older, the anger has turned from cussing and throwing and breaking shit, to just being a downright bummer.

My birthday was a few weeks ago, and when I called my dad to thank him for the birthday card and check that he mailed to me, we ended up having a relatively decent 35 minute conversation about how my life was going good, how work was going good and how I didn’t really have a lot to complain about. I’d venture to say that his ability to withhold the negative peaks at around 36 minutes, though, because we quickly went from HAPPY HAPPY to “Just be glad you have a job because if you didn’t, you’d have a hell of a time finding one right now.” and “You should be better at saving your money” and “Well, I gave you that 6 months ago – you haven’t done it yet?” Thank you dad, for ruining whatever high I had on life by inserting your usual bit of negatively slanted realism. Can’t I just be happy for a frickin’ minute, here?!

Most people who do that to me usually get thanked for dropping the Bummer Bomb in some snide, sarcastic way, but my dad is not most people. He is the poster child for emotional suppression and avoidance, so if I were to bring it up, he’d just get angry and most likely say something like, WELL, IT”S TRUE ISN’T IT? To which I can’t really argue, but there is a thing called TACT that he seems to lack. In fact, his need to end on a sour note seems almost purposeful to an extent – there was nothing in our conversation that could have segued him into how suck-tastic the world is or how terrible the weather is or how awful the state of the economy is. He just started hating on shit with no prompting. Yeah, I get it, sometimes shit sucks, but if all you do is dwell on the negative, everything becomes ABOUT the negative and I’ve worked really hard to get my thinking out of that downward spiral pattern. And this, my friends, is the long winded version of why I don’t talk to my father very often and when I do, it’s in very short bursts. Gotta get out before the negativity sets in.

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4 responses to “Continuing the trend

  1. The Depressed Moose

    July 18, 2012 at 7:09 pm

    I have the same issues with my know it all father as well LOL! havent spoke to him for around 15 months

     
    • Unrequited Life

      July 18, 2012 at 7:21 pm

      I’m sorry to hear this, but I appreciate the camaraderie. If you’re anything like me, it sucks TO talk to him, and it sucks not to too, because, well, he’s my dad. I just can’t make him understand his choice of words effect me – he told me that I was stupid for being on meds the first time I told him I was depressed…Pffft. Whatevs – avoidance is easier in this case.

       
      • The Depressed Moose

        July 18, 2012 at 7:29 pm

        i prefer to focus on my wife and kids who dont judge me for having depression. Much easier life that way. As they say you can choose your friends but not your family

         
      • Unrequited Life

        July 18, 2012 at 7:34 pm

        Understood! I’m not married and my kids have 4 legs, but I agree and they bring me happiness.

         

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