Use your blinker, not telepathy!

04 Jan

I’d like to give a shout out to all those impressively brilliant folks out there who struggle to use BLINKERS. Thank you all for adding to the confusion that is life by assuming that the rest of us are all Psychics who can predict the move that you are about to make in your overglorified gas guzzler of an SUV and therefore, will move out of your anticipated path so that you are not inconvenienced in the least bit. Thank you for then sharing with us that our 6th sense is so obviously malfunctioning by waving your impressively large middle finger at us through your rear window as we slam on our brakes to avoid rear-ending you. Because if we did, that of course, would have been because we didn’t have the forethought to yield to your will.

God forbid that we, as human beings, actually use the technology that we have created in the attempt to better society, to actually enhance our experiences as a whole. The earth might just get sucked up into a black hole if we were actually a considerate commonwealth. Life in general may just cease to exist if a greater percentage of commuters actually gave just a dick hair of concern for someone other than themselves. I’m sure that’s what happened to the dinosaurs – obviously, they had evolved to the point where they became sympathetic to each other’s needs, and in retaliation for their newly found constructive nature, they were obliterated from the earth.

Now, I do understand the physical exhurstion that flicking that little steering-column mounted stick creates for you. I respect the fact that the arduous motion of your wrist, be it up or down that whole INCH, can be confusing to some as the up or down motion actually delineates a left or right anticipated motion of the vehicle. I sympathize with the fact that it’s just really a difficult task to master. I mean, just because a MONKEY can be taught how to use a turn signal properly doesn’t mean that half of society will be able to recreate such a daunting task. We do, afterall, consider ourselves highest on the evolutionary chain, why should we be subjected to such medial tasks as turn signals?

And may I also express my gratitude to those who, when they DO use their blinkers, take that as a free pass to change lanes without so much as a glance to see where others may be in our own little treks from point A to point B. I mean, can you believe my audacity to have been in someone’s way when their life depended on whether they moved into the left lane at the EXACT moment that I was driving past the back door of their vehicle?! Heaven forbid that I imposed upon your drive home by attempting to do the very same myself, and I graciously accept your abusive, incessent, obnoxious horn-blowing as a audible “Thanks!” from one driver to another. And a very fond “BEEEEEEEEEEPPPPPP” right back at ya, asshole. Eat shit and die.


Tags: , , , , , ,

2 responses to “Use your blinker, not telepathy!

  1. WalterBean

    January 4, 2008 at 11:11 pm

    heh. You live in PA. I figured you’d be used to PA drivers by now.

  2. Unrequited Life

    January 5, 2008 at 10:23 am

    Dude, I know. But I learned to drive in MD, and silly me, it’s my own damn fault for expecting too much out of people! Sunsabitches….*grumble*


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: