Tonight, as I was standing out on my porch, smoking a deliciously menthol cigarette and giving my pups some tinkle time, I started thinking about how absolutely INSANE today actually was. I was thinking about how this Monday in particular seemed SO much worse than Monday’s of recent past. Monday’s suck regardless as they are the weekly equivalent of a full moon. Just when you think the weirdness can’t get any weirder – it CAN on a Monday! Just when you think that you couldn’t possibly want to kill yourself any more than you do after spending 8 hours in a cubicle – you CAN on a Monday! I once saw a bumper sticker which read “Monday’s are a horrible way to spend 1/7th of your life!” How disgusting of a thought! I almost want to wash my own mouth with soap! How could such a HUGE percentage of my precious life ever possibly be spent during the fire and brimstone that is a Monday!? It seriously just makes me want to cry.
Apart from my obvious disdain for the work week Starter, I believe that this Monday was so much worse due to the fact that we came off of a 4 day weekend. I mean, when I get a 3 day weekend, I’m already in heaven. Anything longer than the alotted 48 hours is like a dream come true for me, so on the rare occassions that I get a 4th day, I’m jumping up and down screaming “I DON’T EVER HAVE TO WORK AGAIN!” in delirious glory. Well, heh, you can imagine the sonic boom that ensued when that bubble burst. I probably leveled half of South Eastern Pennsylvania. You have to understand that I did spend a rather lazy weekend; I lounged around, raked some leaves, ate Thanksgiving dinner – TWICE! (Yay me!), and generally did NOTHING. I love doing Nothing though. So much so, I’d happily spend the rest of my life doing ONLY Nothing and no one else. And, yes, I am completely aware that my sloth-like nature over the last 4 days must have had some adverse effect on my interpretation of today, but it STILL sucked.
And speaking of interpretations for today – I posted yesterday about my bordering on not so healthy obsession of checking my horoscope daily, and on multiple sites. WELL, today’s seemed to leave even a sour taste in my mouth. Damnit I hate being such a by-the-book Cancerian!! This came from, god help me, My Lifetime.com. DON’T you judge me! This site is the most dead on that I’ve found so far when it comes to me and the moon and the tides – and today was no exception.
“You know you won’t back out, because when you give your word it’s as good as gold. Other people, however, don’t always operate that way. Let them believe you may walk away; it builds suspense and teaches them not to take you for granted.”