It’s raining. For the 4th. Day. In. A. Row. My backyard is covered with wet, soppy leaves and everytime the dogs come in, I have to pick things from their dripping coats and wipe their muddy little paws. I haven’t seen the sun for days, it takes my car minimally 15 minutes to warm up in the mornings and this morning, heh heh; wanna know what there was this morning? There was SLUSHY SHIT – a mixture of icy/snowy stuff and rain – on my steps. This all certainly has not been helping my mood.
I just feel like I’m in a rut with life. I’m stuck between staying where I am, with all that I have; or pushing further out of my comfort zone than ever before with the possibility of having more, or at least some, of what I’m looking for. I’m just feelin’ like what I’ve been doing so far hasn’t been working, so I think there is need for some changin’ to be going on. I’ve toyed with the idea of moving for a long time now – over a year, in fact. I hem and I haw, but I usually just end up staying put until something hits me on the back of the head with a shovel while screaming “I’M A OPPORTUNITY, YOU DUMBASS! Come get me!” There definitely is something hugely appealing to me to just pack my shit and move away somewhere that was too far to drive to in one day. Depending on how the next couple of months go, it might become more than just a thought.
Somewhere between the self deprecation and my dreams, my soundtrack qued up. As the guitar riff started, I realized that I haven’t been being true to my roots – probably more prophetically than even I could realize. I haven’t once yet posted a Self-Imposed Musical Psychoanalysis about a single, solitary Zeppelin song. They’ve only been my favorite band in the entire wild and crazy world since I was like, 15! I know most of the words to every song and I can tell you which album a particular song is on. I was buying posters of Stairway, when I was 16 in Ocean City, MD, out of a head shop. And I’d give my left arm to sleep with any of them – some more than others mind you, but still! I am ashamed at my blatent disrespect of Robert, Jimmy, John and J.P. up until this point. *Hangs head in shame* Boys, you know I love you. Having said that, My Musical Life: Track 18, would have to be the masterpiece that is:
Led Zeppelin’s Going to California
Spent my days with a woman unkind,
Smoked my stuff and drank all my wine.
Made up my mind to make a new start,
Going to california with an aching in my heart.
Someone told me theres a girl out there
With love in her eyes and flowers in her hair.
Took my chances on a big jet plane,
Never let them tell you that they’re all the same.
The sea was red and the sky was grey,
Wondered how tomorrow could ever follow today.
The mountains and the canyons started to tremble and shake
As the children of the sun began to awake.
Seems that the wrath of the gods
Got a punch on the nose and it started to flow;
I think I might be sinking.
Throw me a line if I reach it in time
Ill meet you up there where the path
Runs straight and high.
To find a queen without a king;
They say she plays guitar and cries and sings.
La la la la
Ride a white mare in the footsteps of dawn
Tryin to find a woman whos never, never, never been born.
Standing on a hill in my mountain of dreams,
Telling myself its not as hard, hard, hard as it seems.