Psychoanalysis, Musically Speaking, Day 3

08 Oct

Today was a day spent revisiting something that I already have HUGE issue with – I have no date for my best friend’s upcoming wedding; and, here’s the kicker, I am the maid of honor. Hardy har har, right? Good “this is your life” joke. Believe me, I attempted to find a date for months. So much so in fact, I asked my gay friend to be my date, he declined. I assume living in California has something to do with it. I asked my best guy friend, he declined stating he valued his life too much. I’ve even thought about asking an ex to go with me. Well, he isn’t really an “ex” as there was nothing to “ex” him from….but I digress. Now, here I am, 6 days from her wedding, and I am still flying solo. I like to think that I have come to terms with it, but I know I am just fooling myself enough to get through this with head held high. Afterall, Sunday isn’t really about me anyway, it’s about J!! So, I shall waltz into that wedding reception with head, and full size male blow-up doll held high, and proclaim – Yes, I am single. And yes, I bought him at Love Ones.

Today’s song is in male bashing form: Mary Prankster and her absolutely fantastic song The World is full of Bastards.

He said, “Mary is the rarest gem
And she’s the wildest flower.
I’ll make my Mary merrier
With every passing hour.”

So I made a certain sacrifice
As soon as we were through
I said, “Your Mary loves you, lad.”
And he said, “‘Mary’ who?”

You don’t know if an apple’s rotten
’Til you take a bite
You don’t know if there’s breakfast comin’
’Til you spend the night

And I’m sure I’ll kiss my share of frogs
Before my time is done
The world is full of bastards
And I’ve dated every one

Eh, the lad was oh-so-generous
Much more than you would think
He didn’t have a license
But he still drove me to drink

And I had no insecurities
So he gave me some of his
But I didn’t need his sorrow, man
I’m Irish as it is

You don’t know if the beer is bitter
’Til you buy a glass
You don’t know if your peace of mind
Is just a piece of ass

And I’m sure I’ll kiss my share of frogs
Before my time is done
The world is full of bastards
And I’ve dated every one


2 responses to “Psychoanalysis, Musically Speaking, Day 3

  1. walterbean

    October 9, 2007 at 1:35 pm

    You know? Some of the best times I’ve had have been when I was “alone” at a function. There’s no one to worry about but yourself. There’s no one nagging that they’re bored. There’s no one to tell you you can’t dance with whomever you want to!

    Besides, you also get the chance to be the totally hot, dark and mysterious one in the wedding party. Now that’s sexy.

  2. unrequitedlife

    October 12, 2007 at 8:43 pm

    OMG I love you… 🙂

    Thank you my dear, you are the awesomest!!


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